


What Friends Are For

by LittleSweetCheeks



Category: Madam Secretary
Genre: Family, Friendship, Gen, Support
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:41:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27904639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleSweetCheeks/pseuds/LittleSweetCheeks
Summary: International issues were just fine. Domestic issues? Not so much.
Comments: 28
Kudos: 25





	1. Chapter 1

His job, like all their jobs, was managing and maintaining an ongoing a revolving series of crises both at home and abroad. At any given time, as the head policy guy for the country’s top diplomat, he had a dozen or more small diplomatic fires burning and it was his job to predict when they would flare up.

He didn’t have the same mountain of responsibility as say Nadine, not in the office anyway, but it didn’t mean he was without overwhelming responsibilities. He had Chloe. And Abby, if he was honest with himself.

It was in those responsibilities that he was failing atrociously lately.

Jay flipped open the next file. Another small fire that needed to be kept from flaring up and he was determined to do just that, no matter what. He might let Abby and Chloe down, but he’d be damned if he let the Secretary down.

“Jay?” The voice brought him out of his internal dialogue with a start. Dressed already in her gray jacket, one large bag over her shoulder and the briefcase she only occasionally carried, only carried when the workload was especially heavy, in her left hand, Nadine was leaned against his doorframe, bracing herself with her right hand.

“Heading home Nadine?” Despite the overwhelming feeling of failure in his chest, he tried to sound upbeat.

Her dark eyes scanned his office and he tried not to cringe at what she must be reading of the room. She wasn’t the boss with honed CIA training, but Jay was well aware that the skills honed as a woman in a man’s world, as a boss of thousands, as a woman in general, they were more than enough to rarely miss anything important. “I am.” The pause made him hold his breath, there was an obvious question on her lips, but she didn’t ask it. “Are you?”

“Soon.”

Her eyes narrowed and he knew he’d have to work for it tonight. “You can walk me out.”

He chuckled. “I don’t need an escort, Nadine.” He didn’t need to be taken care of, no matter what his current situation might lead a reasonable person to believe.

A wry smile angled her lips, making her look younger. “Are you really going to force me to walk through a dark parking garage at this hour, alone?”

In years past, he would’ve pointed out that the garage of the Truman was hardly dark, especially in the row where the senior staff had assigned spots and despite the hour, it was still heavily secured by both numerous cameras and armed guards. Now, Jay knew it was a baited question. If he shot her down, no matter how ridiculous the question, he sounded like a jerk. He had to agree. “Of course, I’ll walk you out.”

He didn’t miss the pleased look on her face at his acquiescence. “I have to pass a message on to the Secretary, but I’ll be back.”

“I’ll be ready.” He nodded and then watched her push off, passing his glass wall without another glance his way. Alone again, Jay looked around his dim office and planned out his night. He’d have to pack up, pretend he was leaving in order to satisfy Nadine’s maternal nudging to get him home. Pulling his satchel out, he shoved enough files in to be convincing. From down the otherwise silent hall, he could faintly make out the varied dancing tones of his two bosses bidding their good evenings, laughing casually about something between them and then the slightly louder calls as they wrapped it up. Nadine would be walking back up the hall any moment.

Only seconds passed before Jay watched her strides as she passed his windows again. This many years in and he could read her in her walk and tonight, Jay knew without a doubt she was tired of being on her feet all day. She’d probably kicked her shoes off while she was at her desk. When they were overseas, or even on the plane, it wasn’t unheard of for her to be shoeless just as often as the Secretary. “Ready to go?” She was leaning around the frame again, fingers drumming impatiently.

“Of course.” He hoisted his satchel on his shoulder. “I know better than to keep a beautiful woman waiting.” When she laughed easily at that, the grin wasn’t so hard to get out this time. Their relationship wasn’t as clear-cut sometimes as with some of the others. Nadine seemed to willingly fill in the role of mother to Matt, sister to the Secretary, and a winding path of mother/sister/friend with Blake and Daisy. Jay had no need for another mother, however, and he had enough sisters, thank you very much. He didn’t mind counting her as a friend though, even if it felt odd at times, like now. Like when his mouth thought he could pull of the same kind of teasing-yet-innocent flirty comment or compliment that Blake was able to pull off without being offensive.

“Come on, Jay.” She moved away from his door a few strides before turning, walking artfully backward as she addressed him. “Next time you call me beautiful, you better buy me dinner first.” He was already following her up the hall and didn’t miss the teasing wink before she turned back around, something akin to a cheerful flounce momentarily replacing her tired steps.

It was almost enough to make him forget how the rest of his night was going to go. Again. “I’ll remember that.”

Nadine didn’t comment until they were in the lobby waiting for the elevator. Her wry smile returned as she looked up at him mostly out of the corner of her eye. “I’m not a cheap date, either.”

“Ah! I know better than that.” And he did. “I know for a fact that while you would never turn your nose up at Michelin stars or expensive Cabernets, you are as easily pleased with a hole in the wall diner… So long as they have banana milkshakes.” He also knew that, when such a meal occurred, she could out eat the rest of the team, including Matt’s perpetually teenaged-boy metabolism.

A blush started up her neck at the observation and Jay knew he’d won this round. The elevator finally arrived and they rode down in silence. In the garage, Jay started to walk her to her car first, but she carried on, seeing him to his instead.

“Shouldn’t I be seeing you to yours instead of this way around?”

She arched a manicured brow at him and he knew in the way her lips pressed together that whatever barb was about to head his way wasn’t to be taken personally. “I never took you for one to have such chauvinist ideals. A woman can’t walk a man to his car?”

He shrugged and accepted the dig with a small smile. He tended to be a bit traditional in his way of thinking, all three of the men on the staff were guilty of that, but they all knew, himself included, that acting on those impulses was a risky game around their female counterparts. It was a fine balance of being the man behind the woman as needed without being the douche that would be cut to size by her. Diplomacy and politic was for those outside their merry band, not in. “Of course they can.”

Her eyes landed on his sedan and he instantly wanted to rush her off for the night. His back seat was filled with boxes and duffle bags, all his worldly possessions that he’d been able to keep in them. It made it look like he was living in his car.

Which he wasn’t.

At all.

Not when he had a perfectly good couch seven floors above and access to a private gym with showers.

Living in his car would be rock bottom.

Crashing on his couch, though? That was just pulling yet another all-nighter.

“Jay?” She’d clearly said something he’d missed while convincing himself his life wasn’t really as bad as it appeared.

When he blinked, he caught raw concern now on her face. “Yeah?”

“I asked if you were in the middle of moving apartments? It looks like everything you own is in there.”

“Yeah, uh, yeah. I had to move out of the last place.” _Because I couldn’t pay rent_ , he mentally added.

“Okay. Well, if you need a day to finish moving, I’m sure we can muddle through without you.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

They stared at one another for a minute before she spoke again. “Are you going to get in?”

“Right.” He started to say more, but Nadine’s phoned chose that moment to buzz, three short buzzes in quick succession and he nodded his head. Somewhere along the line, they’d synced certain custom ringtones for one another for whatever reason, but it meant that he knew the message she’d open any moment was from Blake.


	2. Chapter 2

A week passed and Jay thought he was pulling it off, convincing those closest and most important to him that his life was as normal as always until two in the morning found him waking up to the feeling of being watched in the darkness of his office. Too many years falling asleep around important documents and people who didn’t appreciate flailing limbs taught him to wake carefully and without any physical involvement. His breathing must’ve changed because the person spoke, forcing his heart to sink.

“You’re taking me for a milkshake, no compliment needed. Come on, I’m driving.”

Jay knew it was in his best interests to be compliant, it was how his found himself in sweats and a tshirt in Nadine’s passenger seat. She was dressed down as well, though not as slovenly as him, but compared to how she looked during the day, worn jeans and a simple turtleneck were nearly the same thing. The ride was silent, the diner nearly deserted and, true to expectation, his dinner partner started with a banana milkshake before ordering anything else to eat. “Order, Jay.”

He did as she bid because he knew what was good for him and pissing off Nadine Tolliver was never good for anyone.

“You were sleeping at the office again.” It was a declaration, not a question, so he kept his mouth shut. “What’s been going on with you?”

“Nothing. Everything’s fine. Just been really busy, what with Congress trying to decide how much funding we are worthy of.” He eyed the prices next to the meals, wondering just how much he could get away with, one way or the other, without setting off yet another crisis.

“If you have too much on your plate, we can pass on some of the work.”

“To who?” He scoffed.

“I’ll find someone.” Her eyes were studying him again and it made him antsy.

“I’m good, Nadine. I promise.”

“Then why were you asleep in your office instead of in your bed at home? And why haven’t you finished moving in? I thought you said you didn’t need time.” He hadn’t considered that she’d check up on his car when she came and went, that she’d take the time out of her normal path.

“I, um…” He was rescued by the waitress turning up with milkshakes. “Thank you.” He distracted himself from her gaze by sorting out his straw and spoon, wishing he had something stronger than ice cream for what was, inevitably, coming.

Across the table, he watched Nadine work at sucking her yellow shake up the straw, eyes downturned into the glass as she did. With a red beret on her head tonight, the whole effect made her look softer. Eventually, she looked his way again and he braced himself for the obvious next question, but instead she lifted the cherry off her whipped cream by the stem and popped it in her mouth with a pleased grin. It made him relax a bit. Milkshake-and-cherries Nadine was a far cry from Chief-of-Staff Nadine and he held out hope that it meant this conversation that was starting with a yellow drink wouldn’t end with a pink slip.

When her eyes landed on his shake, he pushed it across the table, letting her pluck the cherry off the top. They teased their boss for her penchant for stealing at least part of any baked good anyone had, but Nadine could be just as bad. Rarely did anyone not have to hand over their cherries. “So?” She finally asked once his cherry was gone as well.

“I pay for half the apartment Abby’s living in with Chloe. Rent, utilities, phone, the works.” He drew a breath. “On top of covering insurance, daycare both at Diplotots and the place Abby uses on occasion, and my car… Abby needed a new car because hers broke down. It just… it’s never ending and I couldn’t… I had to sacrifice something. I- I couldn’t cover rent. My landlord allowed me out of the lease if he got to keep the last month and security.”

Her eyes softened. “Jay… I don’t… are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

Her hand, cold from holding the glass, landed on his wrist. “You’re not. When did this happen?”

“About six weeks ago.”

The hand on his wrist squeezed. “Jay…”

“I’ll work it out.”

“You can’t live at the office.”

“I know.” And he did. He just wasn’t sure how to make all the puzzle pieces fit together.

“The Secretary needs to know.”

“No. Are you kidding? I can’t have her know the guy she depends on can’t afford a place to live.” He whispered the last bit. He needed to be the dependable guy, the guy who came up with solutions, not caused more problems.

“She needs to know.” Her firm insistence made him nod reluctantly. She was back to studying him closely and Jay was thankful when their food arrived as it gave her a reason to look away. “Why did I order so much?” She mused aloud.

“Habit?” Despite the weight of the conversation that would have to continue, he allowed himself to smile.

“Must be.”


	3. Chapter 3

Nadine had paid for the meal, insisting it wasn’t charity, before returning him, reluctantly, to the Truman for the night. His argument had been it was far too late at that point to make any changes to the situation now. Her suggestion for repayment of the meal was honesty with the Secretary.

Jay stepped out of the men’s locker room on the second floor before work hours began the next morning and spotted Nadine immediately. “You’re here… How’d you know where I was?”

Her shrug was casual, chin tucked to her chest and head tipped ever so slightly to the side, so she was looking up at him. “Easy guess.” Her tone said she’d done more than just guess, had done something perhaps a bit deceptive.

He sighed, shuffling forward to lead the way toward the elevators. “I’ll talk to her.”

“I know you will.” Her tone was light, relaxed, but he knew it was a cover.

“You already told her I need to speak with her.”

“I did. And I’m going to sit in on the meeting as well. We’ll figure this out together.” He pressed the call button as she rubbed his arm comfortingly, her maternal side shining through. “There has to be something we can do to help.” The door opened and they stepped in before she spoke again. “And you’ll be staying with someone tonight, not here. That’s over now.”

“Nadine…”

“It’s not up for debate, Jay. We will find you a bed to sleep in, not a couch or your _car_.” She stressed it like she knew he’d considered it. “And not in the office.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

He wasn’t surprised when she closed the space between them and rubbed his back in a further sign of comfort. “It’ll be okay.”

=MS=

Jay thought he was long past underestimating anyone he worked with. He’d expected the conversation to feel like he’d been sent to the principal’s office but instead of the two woman taking official and dominant positions in the room, they’d flanked him on the couch, Nadine’s hand again on his wrist as a warm reminder of the conversation had in the wee hours of the morning.

Aside from their close proximity, little was different about the morning. He’d seen the official schedule already, a perk, he supposed, of being in the office around the clock, and knew that the day would be filled with meetings out of the building for both women. It explained the near-matching black skirt-suits they wore.

“Start from the beginning.” Nadine was leaned forward now, her free arm balanced on one leg as she rested her head on that hand so she could see his face. “Just start from the beginning.”

He nodded, opting to carry on this conversation with her again instead of with the Secretary for the first time. “In our separation and custody agreements, I agreed that since Chloe is living with Abby full time, I’d cover half the costs for the apartment. Rent, bills, all of it. And I… Abby’s job doesn’t have great insurance, so I’m still covering that which is, I don’t want to stop that. And I pay for my car, obviously and Abby’s car was paid off but it broke down and wasn’t worth fixing, so I got her a new one… And daycare downstairs plus the place Abby uses for drop-in, my… I couldn’t scrape up enough for my rent on top of all that and still pay for my own utilities and the normal stuff like gas and, you know, food.” He hesitated, unsure of himself. “I failed. I’ve failed Chloe and Abby and now I’ve failed you and I’m really sorry, Ma’am.”

Even though his gaze was still on the pin on Nadine’s lapel, his final statement, his apology, was aimed at the Secretary and it was she who replied. “You haven’t failed anyone, Jay.” He heard her sigh. “How long have you been homeless?”

 _Homeless_. The word hit him like a punch in the gut, winding him for a moment as he tried to remember the question and then the correct answer. “Six- six weeks.”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner? Where have you been staying?”

“I- I didn’t… At first I stayed on a friend’s couch but… it was only temporary and… and then I remembered I had a perfectly good office here…”

“How long have you known?” The question threw him and he finally looked her way, realizing belatedly that she was addressing Nadine.

“I began to suspect last week, Ma’am.”

“And you didn’t share your suspicions then?” The corners of her lips twitched into a frown a moment before she seemed to move on from whatever thought had crossed her mind. The only reassurance Jay felt as he sat between them was that both women were nothing but fair and precise in their decisions. “We’ll work this out. Does Abby know how bad it’s gotten?”

“No. I didn’t want her to keep me from Chloe.”

“I don’t think she would.” He could see she was confident in that statement, even as Nadine made a tiny sound of disagreement. “You need to talk to her first. It sounds like your arrangement needs modified.”

“Bring me the paperwork, I’ll look over it. Family law isn’t my area of expertise, but I dealt with enough of the paperwork of my own and I can always reach out and get some opinions.” He could see that Nadine was already mentally planning out who to call and what she was going to do next. “That way you have something to take to Abby when you talk to her.”

Jay nodded, looking back and forth between them as they carried out one of their well-known conversations with their eyes only.

“I can help you work out anything in your finances if you want. I doubt there’s much though, you don’t exactly have a reputation for living big.” The Secretary offered him a smile. “I’m not the one with the finance expertise, however. If you really want a long-term plan, I would suggest a good bottle of Blake’s favorite liquor would be the way to go.” She patted his arm. “Perhaps a thing to think about for another day. For now, though, you need a place to sleep that doesn’t involve a couch or a car.”

“I’ve tried to think of anything.” He frowned. “Daisy and Blake both have studios and Matt… he has a one bedroom and I’ve crashed with him before but I just…can’t. Not again. He was so great about letting me have Chloe there, but he’s dating this girl and I don’t want to intrude on his private life.” Jay allowed himself to look up. “I just…”

“I would say you could stay with me, but Will’s in town with his family until next weekend. After that you’re welcome to the room.”

“I- I couldn’t impose.” He was already shaking his head. Taking up space in the Secretary’s home? With her family? It was highly unprofessional.

“It’s not an imposition, Jay. It’s helping a friend.”

“You’ll stay with me for the week, then.” They both looked up when Nadine rejoined the conversation. “I’ve converted the second bedroom into an office, but there is a small bed for when my sister is in town.”

“Nadine…” Jay was ready to jump on how inappropriate that would be as well, but she’d clearly moved on, the idea solidified in her mind.

“Have a bag ready to go for tonight. There’s no reason you can’t just ride with me. We’ll look over whatever paperwork you have between you and Abby over dinner.” By the time she’s finished talking, she was standing already, certain he knew better than to dispute any of her instructions.

He did know better. He could be frustrated and angry and any one of a million emotions and either woman would allow him to express them without much punction at all, but to disobey an instruction? “I’ll be ready.”

“Good.” She nodded, whisking out of the room and leaving him with the Secretary. “I’m- I’m sorry, Ma’am.”

“For what?”

“For adding my own problems to everything else we’re dealing with.”

“Jay.” She sighed and sank back into her seat, making him turn to see her face. There was something there he didn’t recognize. “We’ll get through this. I’m just… _I’m_ sorry I didn’t work it out sooner. Six weeks?”

“I didn’t want anyone to know.”

“I still should have seen something was wrong. But we will fix it, one way or another. I know- I know it can feel overwhelming right now, but you’re not alone, Jay.”

“Thank you. Ma’am.”


	4. Chapter 4

Jay twirled spaghetti noodles around the tines of his fork as he watched across the table. He’d expected the evening to be stilted, he was in Nadine’s home after all, but by the time they’d walked through the door, his nerves about the arrangement had faded.

He’d made himself busy in the corner of her office-turned-guest room before he’d wandered back to the kitchen to watch her cook dinner. Now, her own plate pushed aside and forgotten, he picked at his meal while she poured over his divorce and custody paperwork, her reading glasses perched on the end of her nose.

“Were these numbers worked out on a percentage?”

“Hm?” It took him a moment to realize she’d finally spoken.

“These two agreements are dated months apart. Were the two considered together and were they based on a percentage of your total income?”

“I- I don’t think so.”

“Which part?”

“All of it.”

Her dark eyes came up to meet his then over the rims of her frames and he waited for what she would say next. Instead of commenting, though, he watched her purse her lips together and tap the end of her pen on the notepad beside her twice before glancing back to the pages again.

There was no judgement in her glance, nor in the way she held herself. He’d watched her silently judge others more than once and knew how she wore it. “Abby didn’t want to officially use lawyers. She had a friend who knew a bit.”

“Sometimes a lawyer is worth the investment.” Her eyes came up again. “Not always… but sometimes.”

He cocked a brow at that, earning a smirk.

“Some aren’t worth the paper their degrees are printed on. Even the last in the class still gets to be a lawyer after graduation.”

“I take it you weren’t last.”

She scoffed, making him chuckle. “As if.” Her eyes landed then on where he was pushing his dinner around. “Eat, Jay. I doubt you’ve had a decent meal in a month.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” He didn’t dare point out her own ignored plate.

When he finished, Nadine pushed her notepad across the table so he could begin reading through her looping cursive notes.

“What’s this?”

“These are the steps I suggest you need to take, what you need to request of Abby. I am assuming that in general, you are agreeable to contributing to everything in both of these.” Her eyes were on him again over her frames.

“Yes.”

“I have a few questions. Why are you paying for Abby’s car? You weren’t paying, by the looks of things, for the last one.”

“I wanted to help her out.”

“Noble, but you need to assess giving that help _after_ everything else is in order. And daycare?”

“What about it?”

“Why are you paying for two? For one child?”

“Um. Sometimes Abby only needs care for part of a day.”

“And she can’t bring her up to Diplotots? I thought her apartment wasn’t too far away.”

“It’s- it’s not.”

“One daycare. That’s not unreasonable.” She sighed, drawing his attention away from the page. “These two agreements need to be adjusted together. It shouldn’t eat into so much of your income that you can’t live… Giving them everything won’t fix what you think needs fixed.”

“… I know.”

“When was the last time you had Chloe for your visitation?” When he didn’t offer an answer, she carried on. “When is the next day you should have her?”

“This weekend.”

He watched her turn, looking around the condo. “That gives us time to babyproof.”


	5. Chapter 5

“You really didn’t have to allow this.” He was insisting it for the umpteenth time that evening and, just like each time before, Nadine waved him off. This time, however, he was somewhat more likely to believe it really was no big deal as she was sitting on her living room floor, legs spread wide as Chloe helped her put together a wooden puzzle of letters.

“We’re having fun, how about you handle dinner, hm?”

The command-phrased-as-a-question made him smile. He watched them play for a minute longer before turning to dig out Chloe’s dinner and maybe come up with something for the adults to eat as well. He’d worried anxiously as Nadine had moved her possessions higher through her home, but she’d assured him that it was no problem. Chloe was, according to her, the closest she’d get to grandkids, and she had no intentions of being the kind of grandmother who wasn’t kid friendly.

In the kitchen, Jay played over in his mind the talk he’d had with Abby that afternoon. He’d admitted to her the situation he was in and she’d agreed to reassess the financial arrangements. A part of him still worried she’d use it as ammunition later, but for now he was getting time with his daughter for the first time in nearly two months.

A squeal of delight brought his attention back to the present. Chloe was bouncing on her knees, clapping with joy while Nadine beamed proudly. Between them, the puzzle was now complete. Charging across the room, his daughter grabbed the tote of toys he’d brought up from his own car and dumped everything on the floor, dolls and other toys rolling in every direction. He felt himself flush with embarrassment at the mess she’d made, an apology already forming on his lips.

Focus entirely on the little girl now digging through the mess in search of some specific toy, Jay watched Nadine turn onto her hands and knees and crawl, still dressed from their workday, the few feet toward Chloe just as she pulled out a specific baby doll, thrusting it into Nadine’s arms who cradled it with the appropriate amount of care.

Returning to the task of making dinner, Jay mused to himself that maybe, once he got his life sorted out, he should make sure to bring Chloe around more often.

Once Chloe was sound asleep after dinner was done, Jay found Nadine in the kitchen, pulling out a tub of ice cream and two bowls. “Thank you again for letting me have her here.”

“It’s really no trouble.” She filled the bowls, pushing one across to him. “I… I haven’t spoken to my son in a really long time.” She turned away, focusing on the task of returning the tub to the freezer before going on once she turned back. “Nearly ten years.”

“I’m sorry.”

Her eyes drifted to the mess still covering the floor and a ghost of a smile appeared. Jay realized then that in the midst of being overwhelmed by his own situation, he’d forgotten that he wasn’t the only one who carried worries deep down inside. “I was a dancer. I was young and unaware of the way the world really was and I… I was enchanted by the choreographer for our troupe.” He caught the movement along her throat as she swallowed. “I’m sure it says nothing about my judgement when it comes to relationships, but I had an affair with him. I thought he loved me, until he found out I was pregnant and then I… No one is interested in a pregnant dancer. Sure, I kept it quiet while I could, but almost from the moment word got out, the men in the troupe refused to handle me and I… I couldn’t tell anyone who the father was.” Her gaze finally moved from the toys to the ice cream as she stabbed absently at it with her spoon. “When my son was little, I couldn’t always make rent either. I know how overwhelming and… crippling that feels.”

He saw something he couldn’t name cross her face at that and he wondered on it. She seemed reluctant to look his way now.

Her voice was soft when she carried on. “The landlord would come to chase up rent every month. He was in his late fifties, married, and I was…barely old enough to drink legally. He knocked on the door and every month rent got paid… one way or another.”

Jay stared, desperate to read between the lines so he didn’t have to ask and then it slammed into him so hard he was thankful he didn’t have a mouthful of ice cream when it did. He also found the name for the look on her face- shame.

“…Yeah…” Her response made his eyes shoot to her face. She’d been watching him for a reaction.

“I’m sorry.” He felt oddly protective of the her of some three decades ago. He’d hate to hear of any woman he knew having to use themselves as payment to survive. He was well aware of the kinds of things certain men said to, expected from, a beautiful woman. As if their entire purpose in life was about the pleasure of someone else.

“You have friends, Jay, a support system. We’re here for you, whatever you need.”

“Thank you.”

“Does Chloe sleep through the night?”

The sudden change in subject made him blink at her blankly a moment. He gave her a small nod in answer, but then the vision of his daughter superimposed on the notion of the memory Nadine had shared and his heart clenched at the horrifying idea that anyone would ever take similar advantage of Chloe.

Nadine appeared unaware of his thoughts. “I was thinking eggs for breakfast, will she eat scrambled? …Jay?”

“Scra- scrambled is fine. With a little cheese on the top if you have some.” He stood, abandoning his bowl to round the island and hug her. “You have a support system too.”


	6. Chapter 6

“Daddy!” Chloe shrieked as she rushed into the bedroom, a sheet of paper in one hand. “Look!”

It was early, he was just getting dressed, but apparently she’d been up a while. “You made a picture? This is… Where’d you get markers, Sweetie? This is a beautiful picture.”

She held up her hands, showing off the assortment of colors also on her skin.

“And you colored your hands too. Where- Where else have you colored, hm?” His mind began to whirl about the possible state of the rest of Nadine’s condo. “How about you show Daddy where you were coloring?”

Grabbing his hand, she dragged him as hard as her little body could pull, leading him all the way to the kitchen. Spread out on the floor were a dozen or more sheets of paper, markers scattered everywhere. Something was starting to cook in a pan unattended on the stove and Jay worried that Nadine had somehow forgotten the toddler was around except there was now a wall of stools blocking off that side of the kitchen from the rest of the open space.

“Chloe, did you finish your art?” Nadine’s voice quietly filtered around the corner before she appeared. “Oh! Good morning, you’re up.”

“Was she okay? I didn’t hear her get up this morning.”

“She was fine. She wandered into my room an hour ago and seemed wide awake, so we got up for the day and decided making pictures was a quiet thing to do once we were all dressed.”

He suddenly realized Chloe wasn’t in the pajamas he’d put her to bed in. “You didn’t have to change her.”

He meant clothes, but she waved him off. “I can change a diaper, Jay. And anyway, we were having fun.” She waited until Chloe’s attention was elsewhere before slipping quickly between the stools, closing the gap. “I have eggs and toast for breakfast and then I have some fruit, but I didn’t know if she had any allergies.”

“No allergies.” He sat down beside Chloe.

“Strawberries good?”

“Yes.” He nodded before accepting the marker he was offered. “I probably have her crayons around here somewhere, you know. Those might be safer than markers.”

“She’s fine, Jay.” He could her in her tone that it was the end of the conversation. “So, what are your plans for the day?”

“I don’t know. Usually we take a walk or go to the park. Chloe likes to wander the grocery store.”

When he caught her arch a brow at that, he laughed. “We learn the names of everything. It’s… educational.”

“Uh huh.”

“She’s two, the list of things that entertains her is still kind of short. We’ll be out of your hair after breakfast though, don’t worry.” There was no comment to that and when he looked up again, it looked like she was wearing a frown.

The one thing Jay hadn’t thought about bringing had been a highchair for Chloe. The night before, he’d simply held her in his own lap while she ate, but this morning, despite his protests, Nadine had held her. Arms free, Jay cleared away the dishes, mentally planning for a day out in the city with his daughter.

“What time does she nap?” Her question made him turn. Nadine was still seated at the table with Chloe on one leg, a toy lion in her hands, and her cell phone in the other hand.

“Um, about one?”

“Would she be awake in time to be somewhere by four?” Her eyes dropped back to the screen.

“Probably. Why?”

Her response didn’t come right away. First, with a small smirk, she typed one-handed on her phone before putting it down. “A friend of mine plays in the orchestra for the Ballet. They do three performances for children each season and one of them is today. If she’ll be up by then, I could meet up with the two of you later and go see it. The show is at four, but they do a cute little cookies and juice time beforehand.”

“Yeah, I guess… She’d be up by then. But you don’t have to come, I’m sure you have things to do other than spend the day with us.”

=MS=

Standing outside the theater at half past three, Jay scanned the incoming groups of families as he waited for Nadine to appear. Hoping to keep Chloe from getting overtired, they’d stuck to simple activities that morning and had stopped for a filling lunch.

In a space in the crowd, he finally spotted her coming up the sidewalk looking out of place among the parents dressed in jeans and sweatshirts. She was wearing black pants tucked into knee-high boots and a maroon shirt with one of her nicer poncho style jackets over the top. When she got to their side, her hands were already out, asking to take Chloe from his arms. “How was your morning?”

“We hit the park and then had cheese sandwiches for lunch.” When she turned to the doors, he held it open for her, following as she bypassed the ticket window and went straight for the ushers checking stubs. Jay turned, somewhat confused, as he carried on. “She got a good nap, so should be on her best behavior.”

“She’ll be fine.” He watched as she addressed the usher. “Ishmael left my name? Nadine Tolliver.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” He nodded, seeming to recognize it immediately. “You have reserved places just as he instructed. Would you like to be escorted to your seats?”

“No, that’s okay. I know where they are.” She started toward the door, pausing when she realized Jay wasn’t behind her. “Coming?”

“Yeah, yes.” He rushed to catch up. “How- we didn’t need tickets?” He whispered it. “And I thought seating was first come?”

Her only answer until they found the marked seats in the front row was a grin tossed his way. No sooner had they gotten comfortable than a man dressed very formally appeared, calling her by name. Nadine rose, accepting a kiss on her cheek and pressing one to his as they exchanged pleasantries.

“I was very happy to hear from you, Darling. You didn’t come to any of these little shows last season.” There was a pout in his voice. “I’d thought perhaps I’d done something wrong.”

“I’ve just been so busy.” She shook her head. “But I’m here now, so thank you for getting me in on such short notice.” Jay watched the relaxed way she held herself around the man he guessed must be Ishmael.

“It was really no problem. I’m delighted to have you back in a chair.” He tucked his head closer. “Though I’d be more delighted if I could get you back on a stage.”

“I’m much too old to dance now.”

“Such a phrase is sacrilege!” He laughed, mocking horror, then turned his attention to Chloe. “And who is the belle of the ball today then that brought your attention back to me?”

Jay relinquished Chloe when Nadine again reached for her as she answered. “This is Chloe. This will be her first ballet.”

“Ah!” He laughed. “Then she must have the full experience after the show. I will tell the others; they’ll be delighted to show her around.” His eyes landed finally on Jay and he offered his hand as Jay stood. “And you must be the little princess’s father.”

“Jay Whitman.” He nodded in greeting.

“Ismael Abramovich. I am delighted you were able to come.”

Nadine’s eyes finally pulled away from Ismael as she turned to Jay. “He is the cellist in the orchestra. We’ve known one another a long time.”

Jay watched the older man laugh at that before commenting. “Many, many years and notes. Well, I do need to get to the back before Stephen gets nervous about me wandering away again. Enjoy the show and please, remember to stay after.” He leaned in to press another kiss to Nadine’s cheek and Jay didn’t miss how she turned at the last moment, making it a kiss half on the lips before Ismael spoke soft parting words. “You always were your most beautiful with a child in your arms.”

Once he vanished again, Jay sat back in his seat as Nadine sat with Chloe in her lap. “You’ve known him a long time?”

Even in the theater lighting, he could tell there was a blush in her cheeks. “I kept up with dance, after I was on my feet, when my son was young. When I could anyway. Ismael was a stand-in cellist at the time and we would see one another when he was in the city.”

“You and he…”

She shook her head. “No. Not that I wasn’t interested at the time, but he’s… I’m not his type, shall we say.”

“Ah.” The house began to fill with families filing in and Chloe strained to see as the musicians began to take their places. “You want me to take her back? She’s probably not going to sit still.”

When she shot him a mildly warning look, he sank back into his seat to wait for the show to start. When it finally did, Jay found himself spending most of the short performance watching Chloe’s wide-eyed reaction to the dancers and the music, and Nadine’s occasional pointing and whispers. The pair stayed enthralled clear to the final curtain; he was impressed that Chloe hadn’t gotten bored halfway through.

It was easy to see, even in a show aimed at kids, how much Nadine truly enjoyed being there and watching the dancers and Jay thought to himself that he should do more to encourage Chloe to have an appreciation for the performing arts as well.

Once the final applause was finished, Jay followed along as Nadine stood, carrying Chloe to the side door next to the stage and let them through as if she knew where she was going. Ismael was approaching them only moment later, another man at his side.

“Darling, Stephen simply insisted he be the one to take you to the back.” He gestured to a man Jay didn’t recall from the performance.

“It’s good to see you, Stephen.” Nadine greeted him, though not the same way she’d greeted Ismael.

“When Shmael said you were here, I thought perhaps you were going to grace us with your presence on stage.” Stephen gushed. “I was counting myself lucky.” His gaze shifted to Chloe. “But he corrected me and said you were here with royalty today and she need the royal tour. The ladies are in the back, but a few would be more than happy to give a princess their time.” He looped an arm around Nadine’s waist, leading her forward into the back of the theater as Jay trailed behind.

Ismael fell into step with Jay, catching his attention. “Do you trust Darling with your daughter a moment?”

“Yes. I do.”

He beckoned with a finger. “Stephen is the choreographer, he and Darling share a common language. I have something you might like to see. They’ll be busy with the ladies for a bit. How long have you known her?”

“Um, about three years.”

Ismael grinned. “So this will be a treat.” He opened a door. “This is one of the costume rooms. But… It is also a bit of our private archive.” Jay followed as the older man pointed to a wall of photos, some in color, more in black and white. “The first time I met Darling, she and I both had only been stateside a short time. Her little boy was a little smaller than your little girl. Here, this one.” His finger landed on the edge of a photo and Jay had to squint. There were three girls bunched together, all grinning for the camera. “I do believe that was the first show she was in here. I didn’t know her then.”

Jay’s brows shot up in surprise when he realized the face on the left looked familiar and then placed it. “That’s Nadine?”

A chuckle slipped out before he scanned the wall for more photos buried in the mass, directing Jay to each one. “And then this one, this was her last show. She’d danced a bit through college, I think because it was really where she felt at home, but this is a full-time job and she just…” He waved a hand in the air. “Now I cherish when my Darling graces me with her presence and the girls…” The wave turned into a point. “Well…” He sighed. “How about we go find your little girl and see if they aren’t measuring her already for leotards and shoes.”

Giving the wall of photos another glance, Jay followed him through the halls and into what looked like a large practice room where a few dancers were knelt on the floor with Chloe who was doing her best to copy, with their help, something another small group were slowly doing by the mirror.

“Too old, my ass.” Ismael whispered with amusement. It took Jay a minute to figure out what he was referring too and then he realized, one of the dancers was not in costume, but in black pants and a maroon top, boots traded for black dance shoes.

=MS=

“You totally downplay the whole ‘used to be a dancer’ thing.” Jay stated over dinner clean-up later than night. “I can not believe we never knew.”

“It was another life.”

“You loved it. That was evident today.”

“I-” She glanced his way before looking back at the dishes. “When I was a girl, I dreamed of doing nothing but… But then real life set in.”

“Well, thank you for arranging it.”

“It really was my pleasure.”

“May I ask, why does Ismael call you Darling?”

She flamed almost instantly red and shook her head. He watched her debate a moment before answering. “The short version is when he started it, it was his way of calling me a diva. I’ve tried to talk him out of it, but let’s just say that my current job doesn’t exactly convince him I’m in no way a diva.”

“I see. He, um, he showed me this wall of pictures today.”

That made her drop the dish she was holding into the sink and turn completely, face and voice scandalized. “He didn’t!”

Jay couldn’t help chuckling a bit. “And he pointed out the ones he thought I would like to see.”

“Oh my god.” She muttered under her breath as she turned back to the sink. “I’ll kill him.”

Jay laughed. “He did seem absolutely delighted at the opportunity to do it.”

“He would.” The kitchen lapsed into silence until she was drying her hands and taking the wine glass he offered, sinking into a chair once they’d made their way to the living room. “What do you think of the neighborhood Blake lives in?”

He blinked at her a moment. “It’s- it’s nice, why?”

“There’s a small two bedroom a block over and up from his place. It is a second floor walkup, and small, but it’s due to come on the market soon and the price is a bit… fluid.”

“What’s that mean?”

He watched her frown, clearly debating being honest about whatever it was before answering. “I know the building owner.”

“So, this is charity.” The last thing he wanted was to end up a charity case. At least, no more than he already was by crashing in her guest bedroom.

“This is using available resources.” She corrected him and he could see she didn’t plan on backing down easily on the point.

“I still have to come up with deposits. I’ve been saving what I can, but I haven’t made much headway.”

“I spent the morning while you were out with Chloe making calls. And no, you aren’t allowed to ask.”

He frowned into his glass, wondering just how far she’d be willing to pull favors. It was no secret how far her reach extended and how many people she knew. “Okay.”

When he glanced up, she wore a pleased smile, nodding absently. “Good. If you have no plans tomorrow, we can get the key and go see it. It won’t be ready just yet, they’re renovating it, but that will give us time to work out the money side of things.”

“I still have Chloe tomorrow. If it’s being renovated, maybe we should wait.”

“She’s a toddler, not a despot, I think we can manage.”


	7. Chapter 7

Sitting in his office on Monday morning, Jay allowed himself time to think over his weekend, as well as the week before. Sunday, on Nadine’s insistence despite his attempts to give her a day to herself, they had all gone together to see the apartment she’d wanted him to see. Despite being mid-renovation, he could see the potential in the place.

From the apartment, they’d walked the short distance to the National Mall and had watched Chloe run off some of her energy in the nice weather. While they’d sat on a bench, Nadine’d taken a call from a friend, speaking the entire time in French. Jay hadn’t intended to eavesdrop, and he didn’t know whether or not she remembered he was fluent, but he’d listened to her happily tell the person on the other end about the trip out Saturday and her joy at playing with Chloe. By the time they’d found themselves back at the condo, Jay had slipped away to his temporary room to find Chloe’s blanket, only to step back out and find both of them sound asleep on the sofa.

Jay was just digging into files when Blake knocked on his open door. “Yes?”

“Got a minute?”

He nodded, watching as his friend stepped in, closing the door behind him. “What’s up?”

“I overheard the Secretary this morning on the phone with Nadine. I was- I rode in with her to go over the notes for the NSA meeting and they were talking. Is- Is everything okay?”

Jay wasn’t surprised that Blake had caught wind of there being a problem. He knew his friend didn’t intentionally listen in on conversations, but he did spend an inordinate amount of time with their boss, so it really had only been a matter of time. “I’m good.”

“Oh. Okay.” He could see Blake was reluctant to move off the subject but would out of respect for him. He, thankfully, wasn’t nearly as pushy as Nadine, but Jay knew if he didn’t come clean now, eventually Blake would circle back.

“I guess I spread myself too thin…financially. I’m getting it under control, but for the past week I’ve been crashing in Nadine’s spare room.” He decided to take the leap on the Secretary’s suggestion. “Actually, I wanted to make a financial plan so I have a better cushion in the future and I was told you would be my guy to work all that out.”

He watched an odd look that was half pleased at being considered and half something akin to fear cross Blake’s face before he settled on a grin. “I’d be happy to help. Tell me where and when and we’ll sit down and see what we’re working with.”

“Right now, not much. I’m scrimping to get moved into a new place and out of Nadine’s hair as fast as possible.” He leaned back, rocking in his chair.

He chuckled. “How’s that going?”

“Not as bad as I expected. I had Chloe this weekend and they got along like a house on fire. I have her again tomorrow night and I’m pretty sure they were already making some sort of plans before I took her home yesterday. If you’re not busy tonight, I already have all my finance stuff out anyway, you could come tell me how horribly I’m screwing it all up.”

“Sure, I’m free.”

“Okay. I’ll find out if that’s fine with Nadine.”

=MS=

Jay placed an open beer on the table and sat across from where Blake was hunched over print copies of all his finances for the past eighteen months. Somewhere around month three of combing through everything, Blake had lost his blazer, by month five he’d shed his tie and well, and now, by the looks of things around the halfway point in the paperwork, his sleeves were rolled up.

“Thanks.” Blake absently acknowledged the beer, but didn’t touch it. Instead, his free hand pushed his hair back out of his face despite the fact it was destined to simply fall forward again.

The entire condo was quiet as Jay watched his friend work.

“What are your thoughts on investments?”

“Hm?” He looked at Blake.

“Once we get all this sorted out, if you’re willing to have some money tied up, there are better places to leave it than in a bank account where it’s not working for you. Really, your money should always be working harder than you are. And… I think you are missing some paperwork here. I haven’t come across any savings information for college.”

“I- I know nothing about investing or anything like that.” Jay shook his head. “And there isn’t anything yet.” When Blake simply stared in response, he stuttered on. “She’s only two… I have time…”

Eyes wide, Blake drew a breath. “Okay, I see what I’m really working with here.”

“I can’t pay rent, how am I supposed to save for her college?” Frustration with the situation, with Blake, seeped into his voice.

“I promise you that when I’m done, it’ll all be handled.”

“Are you- are you sure?”

“Jay…” The look he shot across the table said it should be obvious. “This is what I went to college for… the first time around. It’s a lot of what I did for a year. Granted, I was more hands off, but the general principles were the same.” He finally took a drag of the beer. “And when I’m done, you can buy me better beer.”

Jay laughed. “Okay. I will trust that you know what you’re doing.”

“Thank you.” There was more silence again until Blake asked a question. “So. Where’s this apartment?”

He rattled off the address, surprised when Blake paused and look at him. “What?”

“That’s the one that’s being restored, right? The whole building has been under construction?”

“Um, yeah. Why?”

He leaned in, voice dropping “You’re going to rent from _The_ Coltman Group? Do you know who runs that?”

“Um, no. I don’t know who that is. I don’t know anything yet about any of it, actually.”

“It’s all very quiet. I mean, they have a formal board of directors, but the whole thing was set up by Stephen Coltman and his husband. Anyway, the Group owns real estate all over the world, mostly in major cities. They tend to rent specifically to professional musicians or dancers in an area as they move around for work. One of the guys I went to Harvard with worked for a few years for them.”

“I didn’t know. I haven’t signed any paperwork really yet, are they strict on it being performers?”

Blake shrugged. “I don’t know that much. Rumor in New York was Coltman made a lot of risky investments in the eighties that paid off big and then got into real estate and never looked back. I tried to do some digging when I still was convinced I could survive working in finance and oddly, they still own the first property they ever invested in. If they’d sell it now, they’d make a mint because they bought it so cheap.” His attention mostly shifted back to the paperwork in front of him as he kept talking. “I’ve never known a real estate investment company to hold onto a property for thirty years.”

“All I know is Nadine found it. We saw it yesterday and while it’s small, it’ll be perfect for Chloe and I.”

Blake nodded. “Maybe she knows more then.”

“Maybe.”

“Well, it’ll be nice to have you in the neighborhood. We can run together in the mornings.”

=MS=

It was hours later by the time Blake left and Jay found himself looking slightly more optimistic about getting back on his feet. Clearing up the piles of papers that’d been spread about, Jay found them all their rightful places and carried plates and empty bottles to the kitchen, flipping off most of the lights as he went.

“Was he helpful?” Jay turned, surprised to see Nadine still up and standing in the opening into the hall, a robe over her pajamas and her feet bare.

“I thought you were asleep.”

“I was, for a bit.”

He nodded. “Yes. I think I’m good now.” He flicked the kitchen lights off, walking her way. “He’s going to get back to me on a few things. Thanks for not minding him stopping by here to do this.”

“It was no problem. Really.” She turned back toward her room as he passed her to his.

“Hey, Nadine?”

“Hm?”

“That apartment. How did you know about it?”

He didn’t miss how her eyes dropped away a moment, a sure sign she was debating how to answer. “A friend told me about it. I knew they had connections in real estate.”


	8. Chapter 8

Jay’s shoes slipped on the slick floor as he skidded to where the Secretary was waiting for the elevator. “The file, Ma’am.” He panted, out of breath from running through the building.

“Thank you.” She took it, opening it immediately. “I’m headed to the Situation Room, I need you with me to advise POTUS on how to get us out of this situation without anyone else dying.”

“Uh, Ma’am?” The elevator door slid open and she stepped in, accepting her bags as Blake unloaded them into her arms. Jay didn’t follow.

“What, Jay? We have to go.”

“I have- I have Choe this weekend. She’s down in daycare and…” He checked his watch. “They’re about to close. I can’t go.”

“Right.” He could see her trying to work out some solution that solved every problem. “Go get Chloe. We’ll… we’ll think of something.” She waved him into the elevator. “Come on. We can ride down together.”

He stepped in as she moved her hand away from the door so it could close. Just before it did, Blake joined them.

“I’ll take Chloe. I’ll- I won’t break her, I promise.”

=MS=

Jay trudged back through the seventh floor three hours later, surprised to see Blake at his desk. “Where’s Chloe?”

“Oh, um. Nadine took her home?” He looked nervous to admit it. “It was getting late and Chloe was getting hungry, I guess. That’s what Nadine said anyway, and she sounded like she knows more than I do. We, um, your car keys were in your desk and so we moved the carseat…”

Jay stared at him a moment. “I- She did?”

“She said she sent you a message and let you know.”

Jay pulled up and logged into the messaging app on his tablet. “So, she did.” He sent a message back and a minute later got a reply in the form of a picture of Chloe eating. “I- I don’t know what to say.”

“Hey. What are friends for.”

“Right. Thank you for looking after her.” He waved as he turned to gather up his things. “Good night.”

“Night.”

At the condo, Jay let himself in, surprised that at this late hour, Nadine wasn’t alone. It took him a minute to place the man seated beside her as Ismael. “Hi.”

Ismael raised his glass of wine a bit. “Good evening, Jay. Good to see you again.”

“You too.” He looked around. “Chloe in her bed?”

“She is. She ate everything for dinner, had a bath to clear up what she ended up wearing of it, and we managed to get to sleep after only two stories.” Her head was tipped to the side, pleasure at having been such a help dancing in her eyes. Jay watched as Ismael leaned in and whispered something in her ear, making her duck her face and blush.

He took a step back, away from whatever moment it felt like he was intruding on and toward the room where his daughter was asleep. “I’m going to go check on her.”

“Ismael brought salmon, it’s in the oven keeping warm. I’m sure you haven’t had dinner yet.”

“Oh. Thank you.” Jay let himself into the bedroom and sat on Chloe’s little cot, kissing her head. He selfishly wanted to wake her up to say goodnight, but realized it would be a bad idea and let her sleep. Returning to the kitchen, he found the plate in the oven and placed it on the island, finding silverware before taking a seat.

From his spot, he could see Nadine with Ismael talking, though he couldn’t hear them. Occasionally there would be a laugh, but otherwise their voices stayed low. Pulling his attention back to the meal, he tried to not intrude. Eventually, the pair were saying their goodbyes and walking to the door and then Nadine was in the kitchen with him, a sheaf papers in her hand that she slid to his side. “What’s this?”

“The application for the apartment. It’s all mostly for recordkeeping purposes, the apartment is yours, but they still need the information.”

“Oh. Thanks. I’m- I’m sorry for causing a disruption to your night. I didn’t know you’d be having company over.”

“We’d talked about getting together, but there were no hard and fast plans. He called and I mentioned I was helping you with Chloe and he suggested stopping by instead of going out. It’s fine.”

“And you still had time to pick up this paperwork?” He eyed her, wondering if she would take the bait.

She studied him a beat and then seemed to give in. “He dropped it off.” She admitted.

“So, how’s he connected to this apartment? Blake seemed to think it was owned by an investment group.”

“It is.” She took a seat on the stool beside him. “Ismael and Stephen that you met at the theater are married. Stephen the choreographer is Stephen Coltman, the founder of The Coltman Group. When I called a couple weeks ago to find out if they could help, they suggested having you come to the performance with Chloe so they could meet you.”

“So… they knew it was me who needed a place?”

“They did.”

“It’s- it’s very kind of them to be willing to help me out.”

“What can I say, they have a soft spot for a parent trying to raise a child who’s in a tight spot.”

He studied her at that, wondering what she meant.

Her eyes came up to his face and a slightly embarrassed smile flicked across her lips. “They were the second people I rented from. After the first one. They’d just started a whirlwind romance and had moved into a small place that had been converted to include a basement apartment. When they overheard my…rent situation… they insisted I take the apartment.” She reached out and patted his arm. “They’re good people. And they love kids. Chloe charmed them both. Stephen’s been after me to talk you into lessons once she’s old enough.”

“We’ll have to see.” He chuckled. When she turned to retire to her room, he called out again. “Hey, Nadine?” When she turned back, he tapped the paperwork. “Thanks. For everything.”

She did an imitation of a curtsey. “What are friends for.”


End file.
